So how does someone achieve such ultimate hotness whilst wearing Crocs? There are a number of secret, magic ingredients necessary. Because I’m such a cool guy, I will share my secrets:

• Cool foot strapping done by a cool physio, after having partially torn some ankle ligaments for the third time.
• A genuine, faded, decades old, inherited Springbok jersey, with a broken zipper.
• A look that can kill, a look that will send Derek Zoolander running for cover.
• No two thoughts about it: you’ve got to be wearing shorts and no socks. You simply cannot argue about this point.
• Glasses. Definitely glasses. You need that nerdy element to pull this off. If you don’t wear glasses, don’t even bother. I don’t look as hot after a sporting event (which is when I generally love wearing my Crocs) as I usually wear contact lenses when doing something active. That leaves me without my killer nerdy-glasses-look.
• 

  The left hand in a fist. Important: not too tight to look nervous, not too loose to look weak. The fist must have an aura of danger associated with it.

• The secret sauce, as counter-point to the dangerous fist: a Squirrel named Scrat in the right hand. C’mon, you can’t not think this is sexy, look at the cute squirrel! Check the next picture, with Scrat perched on the Croc. With Scrat drawing attention away from the plastic clogs, the world is my oyster!

There are another two pictures on flickr that have not been included here. I could also provide more sexiness on request. This hot photo-shoot contained twenty pictures, the others were simply too hot for public viewing.

Now if that has not convinced you that Crocs are hot, all I can do is walk away, wiggling my ass at you. Oh, do note that other little hot detail: the sole under the lifted foot on the right, has a little dark spot (you’ll need to look carefully at a larger version of the photo). That is molten-Croc damage from November 2004, when I stepped on a glowing ember from a fire on which I was braaiing braaibroodjies. Hot, or what?!