You have heard it said that “you should say thank you”. But I tell you that anyone who says “thank you”, but is not truly grateful, commits a sin worse than mere ungratefulness. In addition to having an ungrateful heart, he or she commits dishonesty.
I would go so far as to say that saying “thank you” is not important. It is ultimately much more important to actually be grateful. If you are truly grateful, your thankfulness should shine through. The exact method of communicating thankfulness is not important. The words “thank you” is just one (rather shallow) potential method for communicating it. Ideally, the words should be unnecessary, because the recipient of your thanks should be able to see, smell, taste and feel your thankfulness, even without words.
Moreover, all too often, people do things purely for the purpose of receiving a “thank you”. This is also not ideal. It is not the best reason to do something. The best reason to do something, is that it is the best thing to do. Receiving thanks should be a wonderful bonus. I wonder if withholding a “thank you” could teach someone to either learn to pay heed to other communication channels, or to learn to do things for better reasons than me-me-me?
More importantly, if you don’t really feel thankful or grateful, isn’t saying “thank you” then just exhibiting dishonesty? It’s all on the outside. What is on the inside is much more significant than what is on the outside.
Just be grateful. Value-driven morality, rather than rule-driven. Logos-morality, rather than Mythos-morality. The rest should come naturally.
3 responses so far ↓
1 Auke // Dec 22, 2007 at 2:16 pm
As long as being grateful translates to some behaviour (i.e., communication), I’m with you on this one – mind reading just doesn’t cut it.
2 Hugo // Dec 22, 2007 at 11:32 pm
True. I might be employing a pinch of hyperbole here? I’m not sure.
Those that wonder “what was the point of that?”, yes, there’s a follow-up coming. Soon. Rather unrelated, in most senses, but those that are really sharp and know their Bible well, might already have a suspicion of where I’m headed with this. (Anyone want to make a guess? Hehe. I doubt it.)
I spoke to a French friend today, she wondered (paraphrased, my words) “what was that post all about? Doesn’t everyone know that already, anyway?” Three cheers for the “supposedly godless France”. It seems some people call them “rude”. My/our theory where this comes from? Apparently they don’t say “thank you” if they don’t mean it. I.e. their “rudeness” is maybe just honesty speaking?
Who knows, but it’s an interesting thought, no?
3 Holy Shofar // Dec 23, 2007 at 5:57 pm
[...] The latter was the opening line of a previous post of mine: Saying Thank You vs Being Grateful. [...]
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