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Sexy Crocs

November 8th, 2007 · Posted by Who Knows? · 15 Comments

Challenged by Pienk Zuit to provide pictures of sexy crocs, in his post So you think you’re hot?, I had to publish this post to prove him wrong. Just check how hot these Crocs are:

Sexy Crocs

So how does someone achieve such ultimate hotness whilst wearing Crocs? There are a number of secret, magic ingredients necessary. Because I’m such a cool guy, I will share my secrets:

The Look, on Crocs
  • Cool foot strapping done by a cool physio, after having partially torn some ankle ligaments for the third time.
  • A genuine, faded, decades old, inherited Springbok jersey, with a broken zipper.
  • A look that can kill, a look that will send Derek Zoolander running for cover.
  • No two thoughts about it: you’ve got to be wearing shorts and no socks. You simply cannot argue about this point.
  • Glasses. Definitely glasses. You need that nerdy element to pull this off. If you don’t wear glasses, don’t even bother. I don’t look as hot after a sporting event (which is when I generally love wearing my Crocs) as I usually wear contact lenses when doing something active. That leaves me without my killer nerdy-glasses-look.
  • Scrat on a Croc

    The left hand in a fist. Important: not too tight to look nervous, not too loose to look weak. The fist must have an aura of danger associated with it.

  • The secret sauce, as counter-point to the dangerous fist: a Squirrel named Scrat in the right hand. C’mon, you can’t not think this is sexy, look at the cute squirrel! Check the next picture, with Scrat perched on the Croc. With Scrat drawing attention away from the plastic clogs, the world is my oyster!

There are another two pictures on flickr that have not been included here. I could also provide more sexiness on request. This hot photo-shoot contained twenty pictures, the others were simply too hot for public viewing.

Now if that has not convinced you that Crocs are hot, all I can do is walk away, wiggling my ass at you. Oh, do note that other little hot detail: the sole under the lifted foot on the right, has a little dark spot (you’ll need to look carefully at a larger version of the photo). That is molten-Croc damage from November 2004, when I stepped on a glowing ember from a fire on which I was braaiing braaibroodjies. Hot, or what?! ;)

Wiggle that ass...

Categories: Personal
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15 responses so far ↓

  • 1 gloep // Nov 9, 2007 at 12:08 am

    “wiggling my ass” – ? More like, dunno, clenching it in fear?
    ;)

  • 2 gloep // Nov 9, 2007 at 12:12 am

    Ag vrek, hoekom het jy die haai-ding gepost? Ek wou môre-oggend strand to gegaan het :|
    Wel, ek het so 2jaar terug ‘n haai daar sien uitspring, maar ek het die ding probeer wel wens, in ‘n hoop dat karma my nooit in die ass sal byt nie…
    So, hoe dom sal dit wees om môre te gaan surf/swem? The sharks are always there… You just don’t see them all too often.
    Munch munch munch.

  • 3 Johan Swarts // Nov 9, 2007 at 2:19 am

    bahahahahahahahahaha

    brilliant

  • 4 George // Nov 9, 2007 at 6:52 am

    Definitief hot. Maar jy kon selfs hotter gelyk het as jy die strappies vorentoe gedra het.

  • 5 Pienk Zuit // Nov 9, 2007 at 7:45 am

    LOL! Uitstekend. Behalwe dat my vrou nou ook ‘n mak eekhoring wil hê. Waar kry jy vir Scrat?

  • 6 Dellie // Nov 9, 2007 at 8:37 am

    Classic! LOL! Very hot! Brilliant post.

  • 7 Maud // Nov 9, 2007 at 9:34 am

    Wouldnt say “hot”…would say a “Je ne sais quoi” ;)

  • 8 Hugo // Nov 9, 2007 at 9:35 am

    Zuit, miskien help hierdie? :

    http://www.scarysquirrel.org/special/pets/index.html

    Squirt het in my lewe in gekom, reeds mak, reeds ses weke oud of ouer, sal nie weet nie, ek skat op grond van foto’s op die internet. Ek het nie tyd gehad (tesis pressure) of kans gesien hiervoor nie:

    http://www.mary.cc/squirrels/tametowild.htm

    So nou het ek vir Scrat ‘n groot deel van my “cottage” ingerig. Mens kan hulle nie werklik “potty train” nie, so dis maar koerante orals. En deure moet toe bly, want ek is bang hy kou elektriese kabels of my fietswiele. In my flickr foto’s sal jy sien ek’t vir hom ‘n highway gebou buitentoe. Ek maak die venster toe in die aande of wanneer ek weg gaan, sodat hy binne bly. Ek’s bekommerd oor ons honde en katte. En in die aande, die uile…

  • 9 Hugo // Nov 9, 2007 at 9:39 am

    George: dankie, ek sal dit onthou. Ek was onseker of die strappies eerder moet vorentoe of agtertoe. Ek was seker maar bietjie aan die slaap. Volgende keer vorentoe, dan kan niks my meer keer nie!

    Heh, thanks Maud! ;)

  • 10 Bertus! // Nov 9, 2007 at 10:03 am

    My crocs is dieselfde kleur. Dis regtig net die cool ouens wat daai kleur crocs dra.

  • 11 gloep // Nov 9, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    Scrat is sexy.

  • 12 Eerste bewyse van hotness « Die Pienk Zuit // Nov 12, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    [...] Hugo se poging bewys ook net dat Crocs effe cute kan lyk saam met ‘n mak eekhoring.   [...]

  • 13 Franzi // Sep 19, 2008 at 9:52 am

    how funny…but certainly not hot…u should have taken more consideration on ur clothing that came with the crocks…lol…but at least …crocks are hotter than white socks with dancing elephants :-)

  • 14 Hugo // Sep 19, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    u should have taken more consideration on ur clothing that came with the crocks

    But I did! Carefully chosen, specially selected, and listed as part of what makes the whole outfit so sexy – these two points above:

    • A genuine, faded, decades old, inherited Springbok jersey, with a broken zipper.
    • No two thoughts about it: youve got to be wearing shorts and no socks. You simply cannot argue about this point.

    In other news, a month or three ago, a squirrel was spotted towards the… north west… corner of the property. There are some trees on the other side of the fence. I didn’t go check if it was Scrat, but I can choose to believe he’s living a good life. At least a squirrel’s life. And as far as Scrat can be considered to have “choice”, a life he chose for himself… Shalom, Scrat.

  • 15 Two Years, Past and Future // Jan 24, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    [...] the good bits in between, like a post on Sexy Crocs in November, and some other decent posts in December and January, I sometimes feel if a fire burned [...]

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